Web Talker Gifts

Beware of the Blog.

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

The Modern Novel.

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

Moo Out Loud

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"We don't talk anymore."

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

Woman on the phone.

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

WTF?

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

Computer help.

Modern Narcissism

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

"Nick, are you listening or just buffering again?"

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

I see. And why do you think you often feel lonely?

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

'It's an email of a text that someone twittered...I think.'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

Cyber Fight

"When did tweeting become such an angry thing?"