Tube Talker Gifts

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

Moo Out Loud

WTF?

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

The Hockey Puckey

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

'Every time you speak, George, your new teeth whistle!'

Beware of the Blog.

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

Wetlands Environmental Reserve - Sensitive Area - Please keep your comments to yourself.

Man talking to a tree.

'They're fine through the day, but when I leave work the little one goes 'wee wee wee' all the way home.'

I hear we're called gen txt. It's demeaning. Suggests our lives revolve 'round shallow misspelled missives. No dout! You're not helping me here. Y U usin big words? Hirz link 2 utube vid of cat pukin. Awsum!

Oh, ho ... Here comes that boring guy!

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

'I made a big mistake. In a fit of anger, I said, 'Screw you' to my boss.'

"Are you talking to amoeba?"

"Quit complaining and decorate it! Number one, it's tradition, number two, it's nobody we know..."

"Careful...she bites."

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

"IRL sucks."

'Copy and study this list of text message spelling words. We will have test tomorrow.'

The way I see it, when you go around saying "gobble-gobble" all the time, they're bound to get ideas.

Joe Franklin

'Human beings get all the breaks -- just TRY to get Medicare to pay for a tree surgeon!'

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

'Have you seen pictures of those redwood trees with holes big enough for cars to drive through?'

Passengers in express carriage