Trunk Talker Gifts

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

Moo Out Loud

'There is no point in leaving civilization, because civilization will not leave you.'

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

"Can I call you back? I've got a situation here."

WTF?

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

'Filthy Earthlings got here before us!'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

Rubbish and Everest

Dustbin monster.

"The key to success is knowing what people want. Too bad it isn't knowing what people don't want."

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

Preserved

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

Bin Inspector

Environmental Protection Agency. Scott Pruitt, Administrator.

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

I know! How about I take out the trash? Clean the basement? Re-tile the bathroom? Take you to the ballet? Ok. Ok. I'll have "the talk" with Teddy.

We're polishing our brand.

"You know very well what fish!"

Come to think of it...I could do with a showcase kitchen as it goes...

"My all-time favorite rock group? That would be The Grateful Dead."

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha

"Did you order takeout?"

"We'd love to, but we had too much wine and cheese in the eighties."

Mock cover of 'Landfill' magazine