Car Trunk Hero Gifts

Be sure not to leave the groceries in here overnight again.

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"'What I wanted to do, but could not, during my socially-distanced summer vacation this year'..."

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

Running Latte

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

Make up your mind. Next exit 500 miles.

Say speed

The Workaholics Building

'When last did you have your oil changed?'

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

"If you don't rake them your leaves will simply break down into mulch over the winter."

Way to go

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

Speed limit 70mph and up.

"Here's a video showing how to fix a toilet. It shows a guy calling a plumber."

"Frankly, we're just keeping out heads above water."

One Man Band

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

A 'failed' brake check!

Never wanting to harm any creature, the Buchanans outfitted their car with the hydraulic Critter Clearance System.

'This baby can do zero to sixty in four seconds flat!!'

"I'm an entrepreneur."

Abandon all hope,you who enter here.

The overly travelled road

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

Truck scale to weigh the truck as well as a 'trucker scale' to weigh the driver

'Orville keeps bragging about restoring that car. He fails to tell people it took him 70 years.'

Smart Motorway

Do your own conveyancing...Do it yourself plumbing and heating...Embalm your own relatives.

Rotary Mower