Traveling Talker Gifts

Passengers in express carriage

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'Why can't you admit you're lost?'

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

Mark's new invention worked great for long car rides. '...And then she said,and then I said, and then she said to me...'

"Remember, it's the journey not the destination."

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

Free Little Library

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

Wetlands Environmental Reserve - Sensitive Area - Please keep your comments to yourself.

Benefits of Living Abroad

'It's new government policy - we have to include affordable edifices.'

Emotional Baggage Check In.

"Sir! Wait! You forgot your pile of soiled trash on the airplane seat!"

Vouchers, Vouchers, Vouchers

"The brakes still feel spongy to me."

'Seems like we're all too old, unfit, overweight. . .'

"We did everything possible, doc, but I'm afraid your car passed away during the night!"

People at airport look at information board showing strike action and union membership cancelled.

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home form your overseas vacation.

"They were right. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

Thank You For Not Interrupting My Endless Stream of Chatter.

'Nice invention, but what about jet lag?'

'Do you mind id I take a few calls while you're writing up that ticket, Officer?'

"I always wanted to see the Grand Canyon after I died."

Trucker drivers' motel.

"And look - rooftop cup holders."

"Did we mention that we spent last summer in Maine?"

"I think you're in the wrong line. You've always got something to say."

'Pool closed 3pm to 6pm. That's when we wash our sheets.'

"Well, it's not my fault you decided to get a body piercing in the area. Now, get undressed and go through the scanner again."

Airlines: Arrivals/Departures. . . Number of Boeing 737 Max Planes Grounded: 500