Tube Talker Pillows

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

Moo Out Loud

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

WTF?

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

'Every time you speak, George, your new teeth whistle!'

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

Wetlands Environmental Reserve - Sensitive Area - Please keep your comments to yourself.

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

Man talking to a tree.

'They're fine through the day, but when I leave work the little one goes 'wee wee wee' all the way home.'

'I made a big mistake. In a fit of anger, I said, 'Screw you' to my boss.'

"Careful...she bites."

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

"Are you talking to amoeba?"

"IRL sucks."

"Quit complaining and decorate it! Number one, it's tradition, number two, it's nobody we know..."

'Copy and study this list of text message spelling words. We will have test tomorrow.'

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

Passengers in express carriage

Joe Franklin

'Human beings get all the breaks -- just TRY to get Medicare to pay for a tree surgeon!'

'Have you seen pictures of those redwood trees with holes big enough for cars to drive through?'

They always go for the hoe.