Toe Talker Pillows

'They're fine through the day, but when I leave work the little one goes 'wee wee wee' all the way home.'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

Moo Out Loud

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

WTF?

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

'Every time you speak, George, your new teeth whistle!'

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

Ballet shoes balancing on a telephone wire

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

Man talking to a tree.

'I made a big mistake. In a fit of anger, I said, 'Screw you' to my boss.'

"IRL sucks."

"Careful...she bites."

"Are you talking to amoeba?"

"Quit complaining and decorate it! Number one, it's tradition, number two, it's nobody we know..."

What Is This Crap?

Swan Lake Auditions

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

'Have you seen pictures of those redwood trees with holes big enough for cars to drive through?'

'Human beings get all the breaks -- just TRY to get Medicare to pay for a tree surgeon!'

They always go for the hoe.

'50 for 5 minutes extraction.' 'I'll go slow next time.'

Ballet Shoes

"Ironically, he's being used to create 'save our forest' pamphlets."

"Not so much as a mention on Wikileaks."

'The stadium restrooms are free, sir. It just costs a buck to get out.'

"I can't get through to him. See what you can do."

Man changing channels with his toe

'That tip you gave her-I hope you're not expecting to eat for the rest of the month!'

"Just between you and me...when a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, it still makes a sound."