Turtle Talker Pillows

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

The Stripper

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

"You know what the Serengeti lacks?—Decent deserts."

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

A Message from Your Fishing Buddies.

Wetlands Environmental Reserve - Sensitive Area - Please keep your comments to yourself.

'They're fine through the day, but when I leave work the little one goes 'wee wee wee' all the way home.'

Man talking to a tree.

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"What does 'giddyup' even mean?"

"So, sniffed any interesting butts lately?"

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"You're getting a time-out because Mommy needs a time-out."

"Read me that new turtle book that's getting all the buzz."

"Quit complaining and decorate it! Number one, it's tradition, number two, it's nobody we know..."

"What do you think of the new feed?"

Two men trout fishing

"People are O.K., but I prefer little pieces of string."

'Every year it's the same thing. I resolve to lose a ton and you say you're going to control your anger.'