Tv Talker Gifts

Joe Franklin

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

"I don't know why people say TV has killed the art of conversation, it's all we ever talk about."

Chris Cuomo

"I don't know how they can say that TV is killing the art of conversation, I mean it's all we EVER talk about."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"It is we."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

Moo Out Loud

"Can I call you back? I've got a situation here."

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

WTF?

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"It seemed a given that my bucket-list should include an actual bucket."

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

'Interactive TV news.'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

Preserved

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

"My all-time favorite rock group? That would be The Grateful Dead."

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

"I had that dream again where I kill my Shrink."