Web Search Wizard Gifts

"I mean, it can't hurt to google your symptoms before you go ahead and actually call the dermatologist, right? . . . Larry?"

Kim was beginning to wish she hadn't started down the self-diagnosis route

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"It's a play on words."

The Family Joules: Part 21

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

The Proust of Twitter

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

Man sees door to Thesaurus company that has sign posted: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'.