Weather Whimsy Gifts

'...And now the weather for the weekend.'

This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? Global warming. Stop yer snivelling! You should be grateful! But … No more pretending not to hate your friend's ugly cardigan sweaters. No more lumbago or arthritis acting up every time there's a cold spell. We could walk around in the buff year-round and still be toasty. The benefits are endless! But it's so hot! HOJ.

'There is no bad weather, just bad weather FORECASTS.'

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

Captain steering house through flood.

Statue turns into conductor when it snows.

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

"Frankly, I'm surprised you've lasted this long."

"We are looking for temps, but I'm afraid you're too temp for us."

Cowboy Acupuncture

Probably should have cleared my bookshelf before the zoom call...

'I'm going to need a Margin of Error or I can't publish your prediction of 6 more weeks of winter.'

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

Ian McCaskill

"WHOA! It's the spirit of Uncle Larry!"

'The streets of Dodge City fell eerily quiet as the market researchers strode into town.'

'...And my porridge is always too hot!'

As it turns out, you just can't go around pretending to be Parson Brown marrying people.

'The night cows fell on Alabama.'

"Why do humans think there's no difference between eyes and buttons?"

Could somebody please scratch my back?

'I'm down 3 sizes."

A Poem: With daylight's shift, winter doth come

Resolutions.

Backyard salmon farming becomes the newest hobby in Vancouver.

"It's a pregnancy stick...guess what?"

"I see your past life."

"Cosgrove is a summer guy, Hayward is a spring guy, and I'm a winter guy."

Seasons Greetings

"And a small donation will ensure the survival of hundreds of snowballs throughout the summer months..."

"It must be a lot colder than I thought."