Winter Whimsy Gifts

Could somebody please scratch my back?

'Help!'

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

Snowball Emergency

"Why do humans think there's no difference between eyes and buttons?"

'The cats love getting some fresh air, and it's the warmed coat I've ever had.'

Statue turns into conductor when it snows.

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

"Frankly, I'm surprised that at your age you would even consider putting your tongue on a frozen metal pole!"

Alfred Hitchcock As A Kid

"Frankly, I'm surprised you've lasted this long."

"We are looking for temps, but I'm afraid you're too temp for us."

Giant Ice Skates

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

Balloon ski lift

A snowman executes another, but not in the fashion originally planned.

"Remember how we used to put nice little smiles on their faces?"

'Care to gaze on the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

"WHOA! It's the spirit of Uncle Larry!"

"It's a bit derivative."

'Sorry but that one definitely had to come out.'

"It's an amazing snowman darling. I see you've given him Mummys hat, Daddies gloves....and Grandpa's walking stick."

snowman blowing bubblegum loses his head

Children Plead with Santa Claus

'Will somebody turn down the heating before we lose all of our applicants?!'

This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? Global warming. Stop yer snivelling! You should be grateful! But … No more pretending not to hate your friend's ugly cardigan sweaters. No more lumbago or arthritis acting up every time there's a cold spell. We could walk around in the buff year-round and still be toasty. The benefits are endless! But it's so hot! HOJ.

As it turns out, you just can't go around pretending to be Parson Brown marrying people.

'I'm down 3 sizes."

A Poem: With daylight's shift, winter doth come

Resolutions.

"I see your past life."

"It's a pregnancy stick...guess what?"