Wintertime Whimsy Gifts

"Frankly, I'm surprised you've lasted this long."

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

Statue turns into conductor when it snows.

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

"We are looking for temps, but I'm afraid you're too temp for us."

Balloon ski lift

Giant Ice Skates

"Remember how we used to put nice little smiles on their faces?"

'Care to gaze on the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

Probably should have cleared my bookshelf before the zoom call...

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

A snowman executes another, but not in the fashion originally planned.

'Ooooh, it's Frosty! Couldn't you just melt in his arms?'

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

"It's an amazing snowman darling. I see you've given him Mummys hat, Daddies gloves....and Grandpa's walking stick."

'Sorry but that one definitely had to come out.'

"WHOA! It's the spirit of Uncle Larry!"

'Honey... The old bag next door said I'm looking fat in white!'

snowman blowing bubblegum loses his head

"It's a bit derivative."

'Will somebody turn down the heating before we lose all of our applicants?!'

"He gets like this every summer."

"Why do humans think there's no difference between eyes and buttons?"

This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? Global warming. Stop yer snivelling! You should be grateful! But … No more pretending not to hate your friend's ugly cardigan sweaters. No more lumbago or arthritis acting up every time there's a cold spell. We could walk around in the buff year-round and still be toasty. The benefits are endless! But it's so hot! HOJ.

Could somebody please scratch my back?

'I'm down 3 sizes."

As it turns out, you just can't go around pretending to be Parson Brown marrying people.

"Well of course there's a damp patch on the mattress - does it matter who sleeps on it?"

A Poem: With daylight's shift, winter doth come

Resolutions.

"It's a pregnancy stick...guess what?"

"I see your past life."

"Cosgrove is a summer guy, Hayward is a spring guy, and I'm a winter guy."