Weary Weed Whisperer T-Shirts

'He kept saying, I'm sick of weeds. I'm sick of weeds until he got sick of weeds.'

The Busy Gardener

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Gardener attacked by plants.

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Plant Lady

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Botany Baby!

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

An old man growing berries

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

'I slave away all summer getting the garden just right to relax in - then autumn arrives!

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Man watering his plants in the rain.

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

Gerald was convinced his plants could understand...and dig what he was saying!

Tree Passion

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.