Herb Whisperer T-Shirts

Last Will and Testament: Salt, Pepper, Tarragon, Garlic.

Here i've planted some basil...here I have some Rosemary...and here is my Beanstalk...and here are some chive...Oh Geez!! Dang Giant.'

The Busy Gardener

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Plant Lady

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Award Winning Gardener

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Botany Baby!

An old man growing berries

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.