Hedge Whisperer T-Shirts

'It's them next door, on about that hedge again.'

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Trimming the Hedge

"Have you told the gardener yet that we'll have to let him go?"

The Busy Gardener

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Braiding a Horse's Tail

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Plant Lady

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Award Winning Gardener

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Botany Baby!

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

An old man growing berries

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."