Weary Weed Whisperer Gifts

'He kept saying, I'm sick of weeds. I'm sick of weeds until he got sick of weeds.'

The Busy Gardener

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Gardener attacked by plants.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Plant Lady

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

An old man growing berries

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Botany Baby!

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Tree Passion

Gerald was convinced his plants could understand...and dig what he was saying!

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'I slave away all summer getting the garden just right to relax in - then autumn arrives!

Man watering his plants in the rain.

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.