Wild Weed Whisperer Gifts

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

The Busy Gardener

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

Plant Lady

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

An Unexpected Guest.

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Botany Baby!

"I'm losing my patience with you."

Award Winning Gardener

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

An old man growing berries

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."