Weaponry Wit Gifts

"We're going to need a bigger spear."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Snowprov

Backfire

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Doggone

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Czarcasm

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"But I use all of them!"

Nuclear Proliferation

'He never listened to his mother!'

Progress?

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

Paper Boy

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

'I don't do 'Goodbyes' ...'

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

A dog whose nose is a gun.

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

The Bronze Age of Television

'Don't tell anyone I asked... but why don't we have muskets?'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'