Weaponry Whiz Gifts

"Next time, I get to choose the weapon first."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

Progress?

Pollsters

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

'Don't tell anyone I asked... but why don't we have muskets?'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

"Here we go....in-flight refueling."

A drone laying an egg

Ancient Weapons

'To explain this extremely complex new imaging system, we've brought in Chuckles.'

'We need to learn this just incase our calculators or computers are down, right?'

Big Berts Brickmaking Academy

During a round of throwing stuff the boomerang emerges.

Actualities - Dream of the inventor of the needle-gun on All Souls' Day

Internet Possessed Mind

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

'Still duckin' an' divin'?'

"Is it just me, or does it also look to you like their resistance is feudal?"

'I could pop the hood to take a look, but that would break the manufacturer's seal and void your warranty.'

The New Weapon of Mass Destruction.

'To me, the biggest source of inspiration is my family.'

"You'd better cool it. Remember what he did to you last time."

"...and this so-called 'Death Ray' of Doctor Fate's is no more than a blatant rip-off of Professor Von Doom's Extinction Beam."

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

Drastic Oil Change

'Does anyone have a zanglethribber?'

"Thanks for washing the duvet cover. Have you seen the cat?"

"Darn, men! How often must I repeat it!? Blow!! Never suck!"

The Republican Machine

'It's a steal once you realise what a negotiated settlement costs.'

"Off hand, I'd say your bumpy ride is due to your tires, but just to be sure, I'll run a bunch of computer diagnostics."