Weaponry Whimsy Gifts

Uses for Deactivated Missiles: Objects d'Art

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

Nuclear Proliferation

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

The Jerry Scarer

Progress?

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

'Don't tell anyone I asked... but why don't we have muskets?'

The Bronze Age of Television

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

Ancient Weapons

During a round of throwing stuff the boomerang emerges.

Implications of the quantum wavefunction 12: 'You can never be complete safe.' Until it actually hits something a fired projectile could materialize anywhere.

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

"Can Interest you in something new?"

"Is it just me, or does it also look to you like their resistance is feudal?"

Anna Burns

"You'd better cool it. Remember what he did to you last time."

"Hurry up Ted, or are you going to spend all day in that bunker?"

Garden Pest Solutions

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

'Kicks a little.'

"I dunno... It's just not the same without snow."

A Crossbow

'It's a steal once you realise what a negotiated settlement costs.'

Archer firmly holding an arrow and firing himself from a bow.

"Worst case of projectile dysfunction I've ever seen!"

"It gets stuck when I try to rattle it."

"Darn, men! How often must I repeat it!? Blow!! Never suck!"

"Next time, I get to choose the weapon first."

A man moves to shoot the last leaf from a tree in autumn.

'It's almost unfair. . . their swords aren't even pointy.'

'Em... Hang on a minute.'