Weaponry Humorist Gifts

Selling Arms and Leg

Cat in a tank...

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'At ease, soldier.'

After defeating terror, George and his friends declare war on mild irritation and clouds.

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

French Army knife

'...and this is the Mess.'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

"Did you call for a Medic?"

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

'At last! Some decent kit.'

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

Your Country Needs MOO!

At a Country House

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Banting in the Yeomanry

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

General's Coin Toss

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

'Hamster Swat Team.'

"Bad news Darling, I'm going to be posted abroad"

Golf war: 'Fore!'

The Bengal Lancers/Bingo Lancers/Bagel Lancers/Bungle Lancers

Beware of the dog.

"Whoever made fun of my hat better step forward now, or I'll turn this march around!"

Recruit Depot - Barber. That barber is fast! He knows a short-cut!

'Blue Fox to Swat Team: execute on my count of three and when officer O'Rourke has fastened his bootlace.'

'I know you didn't just reach through the torpedo tube and grab those fish.'

Peacekeeping?

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

The Emperor of Irony