Weaponry Buff Pillows

"Can you believe I was denied a 'Concealed Carry' for this?"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"But I use all of them!"

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

"Lovely weather for it."

Um, General Hannibal, a word if I may...

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

Sympathy

Cricket.

"Lots of people will lose their jobs to robots, but I don't think they can ever replace us!"

Friends.

'Jerry! That bus you just cut off says 'Olympic Archery Team' on the side!'

'...and then the photographer told me to hold the Sharps like this.'

"When your only tool is a trebuchet, every problem looks like a siege."

Light Artillery

Sir Louie the Bench-Warmer pumps up the home crowd, and the tide of battle begins to turn.

Bidder 2 bids £4 - 'Peel bids £5. Take that, Bidder 2.' - 'Bidder 2 bids £6.' - '£8. How you like it now, bitch, eh?!' - 'Bidder 2 bids £9.' - 'Give me the damn 'bread maker'!!!' -

'Someday I predict that the infantry will ride EVERYWHERE!'

"He started with the gunslinger opening, but quickly ran into the posse defense."

"Before I can write your insurance policy, this place has to be made more accessible. I almost fell in your moat!"

Toast baseball.

"Oh no, we're not looking for humans to study artificial intelligence - we're machines who want to study humans. Interested?"

The archer is better looking, but the fighter has more hit points.

'This pitcher throws screwballs. Better hand me my 'special' bat.'

Computer Chess.