Medieval Warfare Buff Pillows

"When your only tool is a trebuchet, every problem looks like a siege."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Knight Golfing

"What the hell took so long?"

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

Missing You.

The Beard in the Stone

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

When cockroaches go unchecked.

"But I use all of them!"

Oh, the armor is state of the art

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

I want to hold your hand

Knights of the Square Table.

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

The princess and the key

Beware of the Dragon

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

'Oh, I hate when this happens! What do you do when you get a song stuck in your head?'

"One of you go see who's at the door."

Unicorn Joust

"I hate when he stays late on the throne just to avoid the tension at home."

"With a little luck he'll be a benevolent teenager."

"Moat? No - sump pump crapped out."

Medieval sculptor hits thumb while carving a gargoyle.