Medieval Warfare Buff Mugs

"When your only tool is a trebuchet, every problem looks like a siege."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Knight Golfing

"What the hell took so long?"

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

The Beard in the Stone

Missing You.

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

I want to hold your hand

"But I use all of them!"

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Knights of the Square Table.

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

The princess and the key

Beware of the Dragon

'Oh, I hate when this happens! What do you do when you get a song stuck in your head?'

"I hate when he stays late on the throne just to avoid the tension at home."

Unicorn Joust

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

Medieval sculptor hits thumb while carving a gargoyle.

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"

"With a little luck he'll be a benevolent teenager."