Medieval Phrase Buff Mugs

Stone the Crows 3pm

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Knight Golfing

"What the hell took so long?"

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

The Beard in the Stone

Missing You.

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

The Final Selfie

Oh, the armor is state of the art

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Knights of the Square Table.

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

"Ancient Aztec shaman-kings predicted a coming together of all the cultures of the world, creating a new enlightenment for human beings."

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

The princess and the key

Beware of the Dragon

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

'Oh, I hate when this happens! What do you do when you get a song stuck in your head?'

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.

"Moat? No - sump pump crapped out."

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

Medieval sculptor hits thumb while carving a gargoyle.

"I hate when he stays late on the throne just to avoid the tension at home."

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"