Medieval History Buff Mugs

"Don't talk to me about suffering - in my spare time, I'm a writer."

"At least you didn't get the axe."

"And with 10 being the highest, you're sure you're only at a 6?"

'Hey, no problem! I've always felt that a little sales resistance is a healthy thing!'

'I got downsized after the king subscribed to that online joke service.'

'...Or does it go 'measure twice and cut once'?'

Don't forget to make a back up copy!

"Maybe you shouldn't send out e-mails when you're tired."

"Honey, we need to decide if we're going to add on or conquer a bigger castle."

"Bring me the head of my C. F. O.!"

"They have a wonderful author-editor relationship."

"You're it!"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

Scorched knight on horseback passes 'Dragon Crossing' sign.

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'GET OFF MY LAWN!'

'Being the royal food taster doesn't mean you always get to lick the filling from the cookies.'

"God must have been very pleased."

30 min. time limit while others are waiting.

"Where did you get your Chiropractic license?"

'Nice to have a door opener.'

'We like the job you're doing, but were wondering if you could switch up the ringtones from time to time.'

'The negotiation is in total deadlock. It's time for the medieval option.'

"Frankly, I don't like the look of this jury."

'You're right. We should have built the castle first, THEN the moat.'

'They take promotions seriously here.'

Executioner using his axe to cut his toe nails

'Maybe you'd feel better if you cut somebody's head off.'

"Think the moat will keep the unions out?"

Beware of the Dragon

"More boiling oil, quickly! It is your mother and she carries a suitcase!"

"I got a suspended sentence..."

"The good thing is they don't use palm oil!"

The Beard in the Stone

"I hate when he stays late on the throne just to avoid the tension at home."