Waxing Humorist Gifts

'Like the Brazilian?'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"The Eggsorcist"

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

Hardy Annuals

'I'll never let my love of fishing come between us.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

'Have you had a brazilian?'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

COWMIKAZES

"All this online learning sort of makes you miss the head lice days, huh?"

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

A dog dressed as a cowboy leans against a sign that reads "Armed response".

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

"It's right here in the brochure: 'Be sure to tip your fishing guide.'"

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

"The tricky bit is finding some UK infrastructure that's working to switch it off."

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Come back in, no one will laugh at you.

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.