Humorist With Wings Gifts

Airport security - next step?

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

"The Eggsorcist"

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

''What's in the bag, lady?''

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Flight simulator'

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The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Gustav Holst

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

Medusa's baby picture

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'What makes you say I spoil the cat?'

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"