Wax Wonder Gifts

'I thought I'd cut out the middle men.'

Claus 2.0

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Cat Reunion

Candle Portraits.

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

'Have you had a brazilian?'

"I hate it..."

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

'It was only a five minute job. Not worth changing out of his best clothes for'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after 3 children all day"

"Frankly Mr. Watkins - all your current health issues are down to you rubbish diet..."

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

Sportknitting

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

'Oh no, green waxy build up.'

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

'Leonardo's Lament' - 'I have nothing to do.'

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

"Shaving off your three whiskers doesn't make you older!"

'He got a splinter from his scratching post.'

"Congratulations for selling them the whole ball of wax."

They say I get 152 channels.

'Workshop must-haves: a rubber drill.'

'You wanted more responsibility in this company, and I agree. My motorcycle is parked right outside, go wax it.'

"So what really motivates your colleagues?"

Long-range planning

Hooray for my Cat! who thinks EVERYTHING I DO is fantastic!

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

Don't tell me not to burn the candle at both ends --- Tell me where to get more wax! (Published previously on July 22, 2010).