Wax Wonder Pillows

'I thought I'd cut out the middle men.'

Claus 2.0

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Cat Reunion

Candle Portraits.

'Have you had a brazilian?'

"I hate it..."

'It was only a five minute job. Not worth changing out of his best clothes for'

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after 3 children all day"

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

"Frankly Mr. Watkins - all your current health issues are down to you rubbish diet..."

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

Sportknitting

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

'Oh no, green waxy build up.'

'Leonardo's Lament' - 'I have nothing to do.'

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

"Congratulations for selling them the whole ball of wax."

They say I get 152 channels.

'He got a splinter from his scratching post.'

"Shaving off your three whiskers doesn't make you older!"

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

'Workshop must-haves: a rubber drill.'

'You wanted more responsibility in this company, and I agree. My motorcycle is parked right outside, go wax it.'

"So what really motivates your colleagues?"

Long-range planning

Hooray for my Cat! who thinks EVERYTHING I DO is fantastic!

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

'We've listened to staff concerns about the need for more training.'