Watercooler Wit Gifts

'I'm just smart enough to never take an IQ test.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

"This is a tough place to work..."

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

'The key to my job security is nobody knows I'm actually working here.'

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

"Bob, it's about your branding."

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

'Baxter! I should have known I'd find you by the water cooler!'

Man at cooler, notices mouse hole also with cooler.

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

There is nothing permanent, except changing the water bottle.

"We got a pool going about when the bubbles go."

"So hardly working....or hardly working?"

"I think I'll go do some work. I'm actually feeling goof-off fatigue."

No Loitering. Beware of the Dog.