Water World Wits Gifts

"Oh boy, if the kitchen keeps on flooding, we might be able to escape!"

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'Throw me back and I'll tell you where a 12-pounder is hiding.'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'Steroids.'

'You know it's too hot to use the sprinkler when the spray turns to steam.'

"May I see some ID, Madame? Haha, just kidding!"

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

'It shrunk!'

Recycled humor.

'The advantage of an electric eel is that it provides it's own power for its aerator.'

Fish Friendships.

Lifeguard - Please Take A Number.

'Get lost, two's company, three's a shoal.'

'Talk about rough courses!'

"Tell your dad we offer adult lessons."

'Wait 'til the last minute and jump to one side!'

'Would you like a drink with your meal?' - 'Yes, I'd like a glass of water, please.' - 'Still or sparkling?' - 'Tap.' - 'Cheapskate.' - 'Bite me.'

I gain weight every fall and then lose it in the spring. I have a seasonally adjusted figure.

"Be honest – is my pouch starting to sag?"

"Liquidity problems?" "Yes, you've limited my water supply!"

"Is this seat a disputed area?"

Kidney Trans Plant

'If the Earth is 3/4 water, what are we doing here!'

"Water Al- six to eight glasses."

"I think I just felt the first snowflake of winter."

"Hot enough for you?"

The old geezer was feeling a bit de-flated!

"I always think when I jump into the pool, that somewhere they're putting up a tidal wave warning!"