Water Sipper Gifts

Cup of water. And? And what? You never order anything but water. This is a little something called a business. I pay rent and utility bills, debt service, maintenance, salaries, and on and on. You sell ear plugs? The whining is killing me. Out.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Sparkling Water

City Boy.

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

The last song before the party exploded.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"Whine and cheezed party."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

"'60 Minutes' is on."

"Mom, what kind of soup do we eat when we're sick?"

Margaret got tired of waiting for her ‘slow-brew' tea.

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

"How do I know if it's fresh?... You asked for 'the soup of the day'. You didn't specify what day."

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

'Your tooth still sensitive to hot liquids my dear?'

Lady on left - 'He's a man after my own heart' Lady on right - 'A cardiologist?'

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. I'll have the beef and tomato consomme from Santiago. Coming up one chilly Chile Chili!

"You need a hobby."

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."