Soda Sipper Gifts

"And could I have a small diet soda please."

Kid to pop vendor: 'Are you fizz Ed?'

Flower drinking cola.

The last song before the party exploded.

'Don't you have anything larger?'

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

'Say, aren't you the guy who owns the theater I go to? The one with $5 small sodas and $6 popcorn?. . . Well then, you'll understand if my bill for unstopping your sink is $33,000?'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'We make sure we cover everything to avoid a lawsuit.'

"I hate to admit it...but I think I might be drinking too many sodas."

"Hey....I ordered a diet soda didn't I?"

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

"Drinking one giant soda a day sounds healthier than drinking 6 sodas. At least I'm not dealing with all the guilt."

"Don't bother setting up an I.V. line for that transfusion, nurse. I'll have it in a glass with a dash of soda."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'I won't buy a ticket just to get a club soda.'

'I think I've just been touched by the ‘feel-good' movie of the year.'

*Sigh* warm coke

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

Hey! What part of 'Buy Something' don't you understand?

"Dios mio! I can't believe they're selling this!"

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

Trump sits among a pile of burgers

"I'm suing you for false advertising."

Lilt

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

City Boy.

The Alpha Seltzer

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)