Soda Sippers Gifts

'Instead of passing the fat tax on soda, the government requires that people do 10 chin-ups before the cooler will open.'

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

First There Were Only Two. Then There Was a Third. Trouble Began.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

The last song before the party exploded.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

Baby it's cold outside.

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"Here, son, don't forget your glass of fizzy."

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

Gosh dern it, Cookie! Thanks to you the boys won't punch cattle without a frothy cup of yer Mesquite Caramel Cappuccino!

'Don't you have anything larger?'

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

Psychiatry. Here's your soda --- Would you like a crazy straw?

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

"And could I have a small diet soda please."

Kid to pop vendor: 'Are you fizz Ed?'

Man watching a huge T.V., while eating a huge box of snacks and drinking a huge can of soda

Beethoven's 10th

"Don't bother setting up an I.V. line for that transfusion, nurse. I'll have it in a glass with a dash of soda."

Where hard cider comes from.

'I think I've just been touched by the ‘feel-good' movie of the year.'

"I'm suing you for false advertising."

*Sigh* Warm coke.

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

Acme Instant Muscle Ade Machine

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