Sparkling Water Sipper Gifts

Sparkling Water

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

We'll have Manhattans...

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Bryan Ferry

The last song before the party exploded.

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

"I'll have the usual."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

Lemonade without borders.

Anton's Bar and Grill

A very fine vintage

A Transformer for grownups

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"Wine not?"

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"Here, son, don't forget your glass of fizzy."

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

'Don't you have anything larger?'

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

'Put an olive in it please. My doctor says I need more greens and less alchohol.'

New for Fall

Psychiatry. Here's your soda --- Would you like a crazy straw?

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking