Watching Classic Tv Gifts

"And being of sound mind... I leave it to beaver."

Cord cutter

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

Mary Tyler Moore: Spot the Difference

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

The Old Time Television Channel

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"What would you like to watch again?"

Must-See Lockdown TV.

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

Marley's Ghost

Tsars in their eyes.

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- You lifted that alibi from a September, 1958 episode of 'Perry Mason!'

John Laurie

"As I recall, Leonard, when we first watched 'The Honeymooners' you said that it marked the decline and fall of Western culture."

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

You probably perfected your ability to mete out justice by watching "Perry Mason" as a kid. Personally, I perfected my ability to lie by watching "Leave It To Beaver."

George Baker

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"I wish I could give you more on the trade-in, but all that guano really did a number on the paint."

New Course At The New School

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

'This gene is necessary for experiencing pleasure when watching 'The Three Stooges'. It occurs only on the 'Y' chromosome.'

'Morcambe and Wise.'

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

Norman Fell