Classic Tv Enthusiast Gifts

Here lies Andy Griffith, Just Plum Wore Out.

"Number three, say 'Hi Ho Silver'."

Barney Fife

What're you watching on your me-phone? "Batman v Superman" bootleg. That reminds me of the time Adam West caught me and George Reeves smooching in the woods. Adam and I had been over for weeks, but he was still insanely jealous. Adam who and George what? They should outlaw anyone under 40. Anyone seen any woods around here?

You probably perfected your ability to mete out justice by watching "Perry Mason" as a kid. Personally, I perfected my ability to lie by watching "Leave It To Beaver."

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! "Star Trek Beyond." I read that the new film's going to honor the original series' 50th anniversary by including shoulder pads in the uniforms. Can you believe that? Everyone knows the original series didn't have shoulder pads. Next Generation had the shoulder pads. Next caller. Am I right to worry that Star Trek may not be in the best hands?

Reverting to his childhood nickname made Mr. Cleaver seem more approachable.

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

'Good morning, Ginger! -- Good morning, Mary Ann!'

'Extraordinary! Apparently primitive cave people did say 'yabba dabba doo'.'

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'I'm sorry, Wilber, but Mr Ed broke his leg, and...'

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'If you had seen as many Perry Mason Shows as I have, you'd know he's not guilty.'

The new 'LONE' Ranger. . .

Joan Hickson

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Mary Tyler Moore: Spot the Difference

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

The Old Time Television Channel

Must-See Lockdown TV.

"Your remote control, sire."

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

Derek and Clive (Dudley Moore and Peter Cook).

"What would you like to watch again?"

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."