Classic Tv Enthusiasts Gifts

Don Knotts (Barney Fife) arrives in heaven.

Don

Oh, Lucy, I never say anything like this in my whole life! Oh, Ricky, the studio must think a lot of you to give you a suite like this. My solution for pain? Painaway Jet Spray! Buy a Chevy! They don

If "Bonanza" actor Dan Blocker had been in a movie about an ancient Greek war ... He'd have been "The Trojan Hoss"!

Mash. "And now back to the M.A.S.H. Marathon." No, I don't think Colonel Potter is related to Harry Potter.

''Star Trek,' or 'The Waltons' I could understand... but a 'Geraldo' marathon?'

Joan Hickson

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Mary Tyler Moore: Spot the Difference

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

The Old Time Television Channel

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"Your remote control, sire."

"What would you like to watch again?"

Derek and Clive (Dudley Moore and Peter Cook).

Must-See Lockdown TV.

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

Tsars in their eyes.

"As I recall, Leonard, when we first watched 'The Honeymooners' you said that it marked the decline and fall of Western culture."

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- You lifted that alibi from a September, 1958 episode of 'Perry Mason!'

John Laurie

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

Wild and crazy salmon

"I wish I could give you more on the trade-in, but all that guano really did a number on the paint."

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

George Baker

New Course At The New School

'This gene is necessary for experiencing pleasure when watching 'The Three Stooges'. It occurs only on the 'Y' chromosome.'