Classic Television Gifts

'Morcambe and Wise.'

Carol Burnett

'Future shock, ech? Tell you what — I'm going to put you on'Mr. Ed' reruns.'

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

'Apparently, the government thought this would be more fun than just issuing regular identity cards.'

'...And now, welcome to the 'All I Love Lucy, All the Time' channel....'

Sergeant Bilko.

Leonard Rossiter.

'It's time you knew. This is a cardboard cut out of Ward Cleaver. Your real father's been in the basement for the last two years watching Three Stooges videos.'

Flowerpot man reads newspaper headlines: Welsh version of windows launched.

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

Bob had misfortune of being haunted by the three Stooges.

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

"I wish I could give you more on the trade-in, but all that guano really did a number on the paint."

"What should I do with a younger woman. Such a young thing wouldn't even know what I mean when I talk about William Shatner as Captain Kirk!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Mary Tyler Moore: Spot the Difference

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

The Old Time Television Channel

Must-See Lockdown TV.

"What would you like to watch again?"

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

Tsars in their eyes.

"As I recall, Leonard, when we first watched 'The Honeymooners' you said that it marked the decline and fall of Western culture."