Classic Television Gifts

'Morcambe and Wise.'

Carol Burnett

'Future shock, ech? Tell you what — I'm going to put you on'Mr. Ed' reruns.'

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

'Apparently, the government thought this would be more fun than just issuing regular identity cards.'

'...And now, welcome to the 'All I Love Lucy, All the Time' channel....'

Sergeant Bilko.

Flowerpot man reads newspaper headlines: Welsh version of windows launched.

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

Bob had misfortune of being haunted by the three Stooges.

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

"What should I do with a younger woman. Such a young thing wouldn't even know what I mean when I talk about William Shatner as Captain Kirk!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

The Old Time Television Channel

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"What would you like to watch again?"

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

Tsars in their eyes.

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- You lifted that alibi from a September, 1958 episode of 'Perry Mason!'

"As I recall, Leonard, when we first watched 'The Honeymooners' you said that it marked the decline and fall of Western culture."

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

The Bronze Age of Television

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"Previously on..."

New Course At The New School

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

'Good evening. I am an onscreen announcer, so you must have time-travelled back to 1956.'