Watch Wizard T-Shirts

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

"...and if I press this button..."

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

George Martin

"Just play the hit single, then you can do the experimental track."

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

Deadlines, Inc.

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Best Special Effects Award

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

Father Time Management

"Wow! - That's bland, derivative and sooo dull..! It's gonna make us millions!"

Dog Walker

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

"I can't have the wart removed, I just got the Wicked Witch role in 'Wizard of Oz'."

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

'Why do I always get a teaching assistant whose pronunciation is awful?'

"A fire-breathing dragon represents the conflict you have with the Lord of the Manor."

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

"Wait. Let me have one more try."

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.