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"And best of all, it's completely waterproof!"

"...please switch off all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches..."

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'We should e-mail this and point out that many of our victims were in key marginals...'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

Best Special Effects Award

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

On second thought, your honor

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Why don't we try a renegotiated buyout offer before we go with the Plague of Rabid Bats thing.'

"I can't have the wart removed, I just got the Wicked Witch role in 'Wizard of Oz'."

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

"Wait. Let me have one more try."