Watch Aficionado T-Shirts

Water resistant, shock resistant, change resistant. 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it!'

"Basically, we're all trying to say the same thing."

"That should keep your fancy self-wind watch going for a couple of weeks..."

'Oooh, nice timepiece.'

"A thousand pounds to overhaul a Rolex?My goodness, time really is money."

"Yes, my watch is on time, but I only have 3 more payments to make."

Sundial watch...

"Inside my old watch, there's a little spring, and you twist this knob back and forth to wind the spring. . ."

"It's an Apple watch I use it to count my step."

'Just doing our job, officer - waterproof watch testing.'

'And it has a GPS system to put you in the right place at the right time.'

"Remember son, you can tell your mum and dad anything, we're shockproof."

'OK fellows, I confess: I'm a horse thief but I stole watches, not other horses!'

Watch Salesman

'Instead of when you retire, why don't they give you a watch the day you start work?'

'I offer a lifetime warranty. If your watch ever fails just call me and I'll tell you what time it is!'

"I'll stop wearing a watch when they make a phone this expensive."

"She's a Rolex. He's a Timex."

"I faked my orgasm."

"Have you got anything that doesn't look like a pressure gauge from the Titanic?"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Television Readers.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

High security Santa's grotto

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

Canadian film production

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

Moby Dick