Wartime Wit Gifts

"No, they're not regulation, but as soldiers we feel these helmets are a lot more useful."

Washing Day on Board a Zeppelin

For the War Inventions Board. The Armoured Bayonet-curler for the Spoiling the Temper of the Enemy's Steel

Your Country Needs MOO!

Sir Winston Churchill

Miss America IQ Pageant

COWMIKAZES

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

"Tractors, Sir - thousands of 'em!"

The camouflage in vietnam was more comfortable

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

Conference Room. I don't have the heart to tell him it wasn't a compliment when the boss said "in every brainstorming session Ernie is a ray of sunshine."

Napoleon marches off alone

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

'Always the wise guy.'

Siegfried Sassoon

General's Coin Toss

'These days,' she says, 'nothing gets a rise out of him.'

"She can be outspoken."

"Mother, I'd like you to meet a member of the armed forces."

Get Ahead

Tea and Sugar Rationing

"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing."

The real reason the Christmas Truce didn't last.

"Most of the time, war...it makes no sense. A lot of times, we'd hear artillery whistling over our heads. But really, you can't move. You just wait...and wait...until it hits...and hope it isn't hitting you."

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

British patent (applied for) A Trained Dog of war Drawing the Enemy's Fire.

The Trench-Sealer

Flat Foot

"Well, thats buggered that idea"

Charles de Gaulle

"We didn't have telly in wartime, we had to make our own violence."

"The luck didn't last. A shell finally got me near Batogne. Honestly, I didn't know I was injured until I reached down and found a hole in my leg. It makes you realize things."