Wartime Artist Gifts

Trench Art Sale

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

COWMIKAZES

The camouflage in vietnam was more comfortable

"Tractors, Sir - thousands of 'em!"

A Visit From The Procrastination Muse

Siegfried Sassoon

Your Country Needs MOO!

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

The real reason the Christmas Truce didn't last.

Tea and Sugar Rationing

"Most of the time, war...it makes no sense. A lot of times, we'd hear artillery whistling over our heads. But really, you can't move. You just wait...and wait...until it hits...and hope it isn't hitting you."

"Mother, I'd like you to meet a member of the armed forces."

'These days,' she says, 'nothing gets a rise out of him.'

Get Ahead

'And remind your father to take out the chicken from the freezer and don't forget to do your homework.'

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers

For the War Inventions Board. The Armoured Bayonet-curler for the Spoiling the Temper of the Enemy's Steel

British patent (applied for) A Trained Dog of war Drawing the Enemy's Fire.

The unknown soldier: war grave.

The Trench-Sealer

"Well, thats buggered that idea"

"Well, then why don't the British just borrow Major Eliot from the Herald Tribune."

Oh U! The German Periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

"The luck didn't last. A shell finally got me near Batogne. Honestly, I didn't know I was injured until I reached down and found a hole in my leg. It makes you realize things."

"We didn't have telly in wartime, we had to make our own violence."

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making Ewe talk.'

Soldiers

"Urgent message from Captain Sasson, sir - do you know any words that rhyme with orange?"

King George VI

"Why don't you join the Army."

'Daddy, what did you do during the post-war period?'

"My dad was in the war, but he doesn't talk about it."

Hague Convention Defied! Stiffnecking Tommies by Directing Draughts on the British Trenches.