Warriors Gifts

Genghis Khan

'Did they say WHY you could no longer be a Spartan?' 'Something about, 'image'.'

"As usual, Sitting Bull's brother, Sitting Duck, was the first to be wounded..."

Boudicca

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

Bench Press Accident

Biceps, muscles and brawn

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

Fitness Camp. I'm trying to strengthen our boarders!

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

Hell's Angels

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

Information Macht Frei

Clancy Strip:At a Restaurant

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

A spider meal prepping

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."

The auto-update demons attack-again."

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also getting compensation for closed-head injuries."

'Get me a match! The pilot light in our competitive fire is out!'

' Oh God ! not Friday again ! what happened to Saturday...Sunday...Monday...Tuesday....? '

Axes 'R' Us Store

"I like Monday mornings...and Friday afternoons. But all that in-between stuff bums me out."

'I don't mind you earning more money than I do, Gretchen, or driving a more expensive car, but do you have to bench press more than I do, too?'

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

"I see you have a master's degree and have served 73 unpaid internships. Do you think you're ready for a salaried job?'

'Once upon a time there were some me with big sticks, and these men, they said to everyone else...'

"The Chef's Special is to die for. If you order it, you'll need to sign a waiver."

"Nothing ruins a Friday more than waking up and realizing it's only Thursday."

GOP: 'I didn't come to Washington to champion the midle class! There's no money in that!'

"Told you we shouldn't list each other as emergence contacts."

"It's the wife - I can't even fight a war in bloody peace!"

"Relax dear. You haven't 'put on a ridiculous amount of weight'. You've just forgotten to take off your armour."

'Make sure he does a number two.'