Wannabe Musketeer Gifts

'Toupee !!'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

Zorro as a child.

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

Wendel enjoyed magic school but he was having a little trouble in his trickonometry class.

A hunter hitting his first bird.

'I could have been the next Neil Young, but my ol' man made me take singing lessons.'

'It's not just that he plays games all the time, it's the games he plays. He's not playing 'Guitar Hero,' he's playing 'Guitar Sidekick''.

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

Remember how I came in on December 31st and ordered a lardo-size fudgsicle sugarbomb mocha with butter sprinkles? Well, give me another one of those. Since it's something I originally had last year, it'll be like I had this one last year too. So it won't violate my New Year's resolution. The ancient art of Time-Shift-Fu. I'm a tenth level grand master. I studied under Moe Yin, the master who created "it's not really 'cheating' if it's with an ex."

Bear watching a man trying to fish bear style.

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

'These low energy light sabres take ages to warm up.'

"Well they say everyone has a book in them."

Lost your helmets during the battle, huh? Who's laughing now?

"I wouldn't have smacked you on the butt if I'd known your light saber was in your back pocket."

'Confessing your sins in a folk ballad was an interesting idea, Larry, but I'm afraid your singing has forced me to add one more sin to your list!'

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

In-law country

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

'Son, as I can see it, your career prospects as a pirate seem to be... hm...limited!'

Darth/Obi-Wan pillow fight