Wall Street Wizards T-Shirts

"The market was doing so well I decided not to hibernate this year."

'After twenty years the only thing I've learned from reading stock chars is that there is nothing to learn from reading stock charts.'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

That Awkward Moment When You Discover That Wall Street's Insanity Is Helping You

'Personally I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables.'

UBLIC RELATIONS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

'Excuse me, it's 1-2-3, 1-2-3, not bum-tit-tit, bum-tit-tit!'

"At the end of the day Simon, money talks!"

Warren Buffett as a child

'Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away.'

Woman dancing with a hot water bottle.

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'You simply put up a minimum of $2,500. If the price of fish goes up, your investment goes up. If the price of the fish goes down, your investment goes down.'

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

Pork Bellies.

"Today big pharma stocks rose on news 'down' is a state of mind that can be treated by pharmaceuticals."

"All agreed? We buy low and sell high."

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

'But the short term view is very good.'

The New Square Mile Regulator.

On second thought, your honor

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

Johann Strauss II

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

"The market was unstable today, the brokers were unstable and the public was unstable. Analysts believe this is the new normal."

"After the crash I wanted to shoot myself... but I could not afford the bullet."

"Bull market? Depends on which end of the bull we're talking about."

'I'm saving up for a hedge.'