Wage Ponderer Gifts

'OK, footballers are not worth their millions - how much would YOU pay to watch someone do YOUR job?'

The Jeopardy of Progress

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Annual profits,

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

business

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'